The Disney Disaster

Once upon a time, Disney executives were brainstorming possible ideas to make more money. Someone suggested, ‘Let’s take the old classics and turn them into live-action movies, then we can sell merchandise of the characters and make even more money!’ The other executives liked this idea, so they decided to start with their most iconic film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Everyone was happy about this idea for a while. They started filming the movie using advanced CGI, but it didn’t turn out quite like expected. Some of the dwarfs looked nothing like their original counterparts, and in some scenes, it was hard to even tell what was going on. Shortly after the release of the movie, everyone who had seen it complained that they couldn’t hear a single word said by any character except for Snow White, who sounded like she was standing right next to them. Everyone thought Disney would try to fix this problem, but instead, they just gave up on fixing anything and released a re-release of the movie called ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarves 2: The Unhearable Edition.’ This movie had no stars or plot whatsoever, but you could clearly hear everything being said by any character except for Snow White and her horse (for some reason), which made people want to watch it even less than the first one. Everyone who saw both movies complained that they constantly felt dizzy whenever anyone else talked besides Snow White (even if she wasn’t saying anything at all). Disney released another movie called ‘The Loud and Uncomfortable Edition,’ which had more subplots than the previous two combined. In some scenes, you could even spot the same dwarf twice with different hair colors. This movie was so confusing that most of the viewers just walked out without finishing it. Disney gave up on trying to fix anything and just released every single movie they had ever made like that and called it ‘The Completely Unwatchable Collection.’ ... (to be continued)